How do I know if Psychodynamic Psychotherapy is right for me?

Usually if you are thinking about psychotherapy, there is something causing you some kind of distress or dissatisfaction.  Sometimes you might come along out of curiosity, or because it is part of your counselling training, but usually, if you are completely honest with yourself, some kind of need has transpired.  So how do you know if psychodynamic psychotherapy is right for you?  It can be helpful to ask yourself a few questions if you are considering it.

1)      Am I starting to wonder more about my thoughts, feelings and motivations?

For psychodynamic psychotherapy to be of help there needs to be an initial curiosity about the self.  Do you wonder why your relationships always follow the same patterns and end up in the same disappointing way?  Are you feeling curious as to why anxiety feels so overwhelming now?  Do you have questions about why you might feel so empty and numb despite seemingly having everything?  Do you wonder why your relationship with food and eating has become so problematic?

Of course, if you are feeling scared, empty or lacking in self esteem you understandably want instant relief.  There may be some relief in talking it through with an empathic psychotherapist but there is unlikely to be a quick fix.  If you come to see me for psychotherapy I cannot promise a quick, permanent fix to your issues, but taking the time to be curious, to think together about what might be causing you distress and to think about the meaning of your ‘symptoms’, you may find that you come to view yourself and your problems in a different way.

Psychodynamic therapy cannot always remove the source of pain and discomfort but often it can help to bring insight, to feel less misunderstood and alone and to be able to bear difficult feelings.

2)      Am I willing to explore aspects of my past, to think about my early childhood and onwards?

Psychodynamic psychotherapy sometimes gets a bad rap for being preoccupied with the past.  There is often a fear that going over the past keeps us stuck there and is a pointless exercise.  However, many of us are stuck in the present, repeating conflicts from the past and relating to key people in our lives as though they are versions of our parents.  Countless people live in the present as though they are in imminent danger when the danger passed a long time ago.

Donald Winnicott, the English paediatrician and psychoanalyst insightfully declared that the fear of breakdown is ‘the fear of a breakdown already experienced’.  It is something catastrophic, in the past, long forgotten that brings about the terror that the worst will happen.  Making sense of the past, what happened to you and what you made of it can free you up to live fully in the present.  Some of what you feel does not belong fully in the here and now.  Of course, some things do belong in the present moment, but psychodynamic psychotherapy can help distinguish the two.

3)      Am I willing to stay open and to see where my mind takes me?

Psychodynamic psychotherapy involves a degree of free association.  In therapy with me I would encourage you to say whatever comes to mind, no matter how seemingly irrelevant or nonsensical you judge those thoughts to be.  The freedom to follow where the unconscious takes us can lead us to learn of your hopes, fears and desires.  Psychodynamic psychotherapy is not structured or formulaic and so if you would prefer pre-determined questions and homework, psychodynamic psychotherapy will not by the right therapy for you.

4)      Can I allow a psychotherapist to get to know me?

All of the above; being curious about the hidden parts of the self, exploring the past and letting the mind gently wander can only be done when you’re feeling moderately comfortable with your psychotherapist.  Building trust in the therapeutic relationship can take time but staying committed to the process and sharing your fears, phantasies and hopes with your psychotherapist will help the therapy to progress.  Even when you are feeling irritated or upset by your therapist, I would encourage you to share that with them.  Ultimately, the relationship between you and your psychotherapist is the vehicle for change. 

If you are looking for tools to fix your anxiety, loneliness or perfectionism and you would prefer your therapist to simply deliver those tools, psychodynamic psychotherapy might not the therapy for you.  If you are open to exploring those aspects of yourself alongside a psychotherapist and considering some ideas previously unthought of, psychodynamic psychotherapy might by the right psychotherapy for you.

If you are curious about your own unconscious, how your childhood may have influenced how you feel about yourself and others and you are keen to explore this with a psychodynamic psychotherapist, or if you have any other questions about psychodynamic psychotherapy, contact me here: contact